Are you sick of being a mom? Moms need a break too, and only other moms seem ever to understand that.
Every single mom needs a break.
Every working mom needs a break.
So, if you’re saying, “I need a break time from my kids,” or “I never get a break from my child,” this post is totally for you.
And if you’re a husband who happens to land on this page and your wife is a stay-at-home mom, I’m here to tell you that stay-at-home moms need a break too.
EVERY mom on the planet (including your own!) needs a freaking break!
Even me!
Is it OK for moms to need a break?
YES! And a stay-at-home mom needs rest just as much as a working mom. What’s irritating is that people guilt us into feeling like we’re doing something wrong by taking a break.
And sometimes, even when our support systems are encouraging us to take those free time, which is ideal, our own brains chime in with nonsense. So, if your husband IS supportive of you taking a break, you may feel guilt anyway. Oh, Mom Brain, please pipe down!
You must make time for leisure because if you don’t, you will not be good for anyone else. It doesn’t matter if you have a newborn and get no sleep or a teenager sneaking out the window at night. EVERY mom needs a rest so she can be at her best.
What does it mean when a mom says she needs a break?
I think many of you will agree here that when you speak up about needing a break, you’re about to crack. Am I right?
When I tell my husband I need free time; he’s learned to notice this. A break doesn’t mean I want quiet time to do more work. That’s work. I want a break so I can do something for my self-care.
Self-care doesn’t include having my daughters follow me around. It doesn’t involve having them do facial masks with me either…that would be a mommy-daughter activity, which is excellent, but it is NOT a break.
Cue Ross from Friends screaming, “We were on a break!”
In all seriousness, if any men are reading this, please, when the mother of your children tells you she needs a break, don’t give her any crap about taking it. I’m sure you work hard at your job all day, and she definitely appreciates it.
But just because she’s at home all day doesn’t mean she’s watching soap operas and dozing off on the couch. Mom life is a stressful full-time job. Stay-at-home moms have full-time jobs taking care of little ones and the house.
And if your wife works, OMG, please shut up about her taking a break. Of course, she wants to spend time with the kids when she gets home. But, like you, she may need time to decompress.
The working mom usually runs to the kitchen to cook dinner. She’s checking that homework and shoving chores into her day because the house is messy. She still deserves that break.
With SAHM’s, just because they are home all day with the kids doesn’t mean they have all the time in the world for chores. Little ones are a handful, and you can’t always turn your back on them to clean. Even if you have a playpen, they will cry for you, get hungry, and want snacks or 8,000 other things that will disrupt you from all the chores.
What happens when a mom never gets a break?
She has a breakdown. She may ask everyone to pick up after themselves or to do certain things, but no one listens until she screams while her head practically spins around like she’s possessed. She feels disconnected from herself and dead inside.
Taking a break lets any mom get the chance to be herself and nurture her needs. When a mom’s needs are met, she can handle anything.
How do moms take a break?
Look, I get it. There seems like there is no time in those 24 hours for yourself. I know because I’m a mom. But I’ve also learned that I never get it if I don’t command that time for myself.
It’s ok to take yourself to a movie. To get a coffee and sip it on a park bench while watching the birds fly from the trees. To take up a hobby, you enjoy or sign up for a class. To meet a friend without your kids tagging along. Or to do anything that makes you feel like yourself.
You never stopped being YOU when you had kids. You’re still a person. You just have more responsibilities now.
I pick up my guitar and play. While my husband and kids love to hear it, sometimes I just want to play it alone and enjoy it because it’s my thing.
Taking that break may be even harder if you have little ones. But please, even for just 10 minutes per day (ideally a little longer), do something just for yourself.
Moms don’t take enough time to take the breaks they need. And it shows when you become burnt out and stressed out.
How do stay-at-home moms avoid burnout?
While every mom needs a break, stay-at-home moms need to be advocated for even more here. So many people assume that they have a great life since they’re staying at home.
I can tell you that’s not true based on the stay-at-home moms I know. They may have an Instagram-perfect-looking life but trust me when I say they are like Gretchen Weiners about to crack in Mean Girls.
As a stay-at-home mom, you should build a support system and avoid negative people. You should also aim to put yourself first to be there for your children and spouse. By putting everyone else’s needs before your own, you will deplete the best resource in the family – that’s you! Everyone needs you, but you need yourself so take care of yourself, please!
Additionally, stay-at-home moms should ask for help. If you can afford to, hire someone to help clean. Delegate chores to your spouse or older children. I can tell you that now that my kids are getting bigger, I’ve got much more help around here than before. And everyone feels good about helping Mommy.
Little ones underfoot? Enlist them while they’re young. They’re eager to help at that age and will learn valuable skills.
And my biggest tip for stay-at-home moms is this…get some sleep. Most of you stay home because you’ve got little ones too young for school at home. You can’t run the show if you’re exhausted. Go to bed earlier if you must and worry about the chores later. Sleep is your best friend in ensuring you feel like yourself.
What happens when a mom never gets free time?
If you never get a break, you’re going to break as in breakdown. You will start hating your job being a mom. And it will be a huge mess that may scare the kids. Please, for the love of everything, take those rests, mama. You need them so much. Every mom needs them.
Even my mom, who is a grandma, now needs breaks. Every person needs the chance to refresh and replenish, filling up their own cup so they can be the best mom, sister, friend, boss, coworker, etc. You’ll be better at everything you do, whatever it is when you make time for yourself to take a break.
Quotes to Help You Through Those Crazy Mom Times
And now, before I leave you to take that break, I have some self-care mom needs a break quote for you.
Every mom needs a break quotes are meant to inspire and make you laugh. Check out the mom needs a break meme action below and see if you can relate!
I can tell you this is a huge truth. A bad mom wouldn’t care a bit. Only a good mom worries about her capabilities. You’re a good mom, mama!
I have a SAHM friend who will never have to work because her husband makes so much money. You might call her lucky, but this woman struggles quite a lot. And she does hire help too. One of her kids is special needs, which is a massive struggle for any parent. But she never gives up, even in the middle of these struggles. We all have our struggles, and rising above them makes us great.
And really, you shouldn’t be giving up yourself as you are. You’re adding to yourself. This is why I keep telling you that you need to take breaks and remember who you are on top of being a mom.
Every day of the week, I find myself saying something my mom says. And I’m pretty sure of it that my kids will eventually be quoting what I’ve said.
This one is for all of you that feel like a hot mess. That feeling is a twinge of envy when you show up to a party, and THAT mom has the perfect cupcakes she made from scratch, and her house is immaculate and all that. Smile and ask her if she can do these things for you. Actually, don’t, but do realize that her life might not be as perfect as she’s making it out to be.
Few people who work 24/7 aren’t moms. Our job is never-ending, but just because we’re constantly on call doesn’t mean we don’t need those breaks. In fact, we need them all the more.
I once called my parents crying because I thought I was doing a horrible job as a mom. That’s when they pointed out all my accomplishments as a mom, citing my children as an example of my good parenting. We all tend to focus on the negatives, but it’s much better to switch to a positive mindset and truly see what you’ve done that has been amazing.
Big truth here. You will lie awake at night worrying about the what-ifs of parenting. Anxiety is no one’s friend so try to think of practical ways to handle things as they come up rather than worrying needlessly about something that may never happen.
Even now, I must remind my daughters that I’m not the only adult in the house. My favorite is when there’s a bug. Yes, enlist the help of the grown-up that is also terrified of giant spiders rather than your dad, who will stomp it to death without shrieking loud enough to wake the dead.
And last but not least, one of my favorites. Because I will ask and ask and ASK everyone in this house to do something. “Please put away all your clean clothes. Please don’t leave dishes in the sink.” And so on. And no one listens to me. No one! Until I scream. Then everyone wants to know why I’m so angry.
That’s my cue to take a break, and I hope you will take one too. Replenish yourself, fill that cup, and you’ll be ready to take on the next interlude of chaos.
Leslie Berry lives with her husband and two young daughters in Los Altos, California, where she loves helping other moms get comfortable with motherhood and embracing the insanity with facts peppered with laughs.
She loves eating too much sushi, exercising, and jamming out on her Fender. Read more about Leslie here.
