When I was a new mom, one thing that struck me was that everything was about the baby. EVERYTHING.
I get it. Babies have needs, and they can’t do a thing for themselves. We have to attend to them constantly.
But even though they need everything, it’s not like you need nothing, you know?
You’re still you, and you have all kinds of feelings swirling about in your head from those hormones and your own self-doubts.
And soon, you start to forget you really exist because you’re so exhausted.
When I really think about it, though, it starts during the pregnancy. Because you have to avoid certain foods and things you once did for the safety of your baby. You gradually resign to forgetting yourself.
Whether it’s your best friend’s first baby or another addition to her family, when you take the time out to celebrate HER, she’s going to be so thankful that someone still sees her as herself.
I would look in the mirror and grimace over my funhouse-shaped body during pregnancy.
I think the only thing that kept me strong through it was the support of my best friend. Even though she was miles and miles away, she showed up through video calls and care packages with stuff that was for me, not just for the baby.
I bring this up because my friend just told me she’s pregnant with her first baby. And I decided to indulge her with a treat from afar since she doesn’t live anywhere nearby.
I remembered the last time I’d been in her area; there was this restaurant she loved. We had such a great meal there, and she and her husband go often.
I gently asked her if she was having any cravings or aversions to anything, and she had told me no. So, I called the restaurant and ordered her favorite dish from there. When I told them what was going on, they couldn’t have been nicer or happier to help with this plan.
I got a phone call with a teary thank you from her a while later. She said she was just so surprised by this sweet gesture, and it made her feel so special. And she didn’t have to cook when she wasn’t feeling up to it.
There are many nice things to do for a pregnant friend, so check them out below!
How to support a pregnant friend?
Whether you’re looking for fun things to do with your pregnant best friend or want to show your support near or far, this list can help you find something that’s just right!
- Have a spa day
If you live near your pregnant friend, you can pick her up and whisk her off for spa treatments. Who doesn’t love pampering? And if that budget is too tight, why not plan a bestie spa day at home? Pick up all the fun products and pamper your pregnant friend.
And should you be too far away, you can always get her a gift card to a quality spa near her. You can enlist the help of her husband to help you find a reputable one to send her to. Or simply send a gift for a pregnant friend by ordering a lovely spa package full of goodies she can use at home to indulge herself. She’ll love it!
- Bring food
As I mentioned above, I ordered my friend her favorite dish from her favorite restaurant in her city and had them deliver it to her. That’s a great way to make a pregnant friend feel special. The food she loves will always be welcomed, though it is wise to ensure that she does not have any aversions or cravings.
For example, if she usually loves tacos, but now the smell of them makes her gag, you’d want to avoid sending that over.
Alternatively, you can show up to cook dinner, arrange a meal train among all your friends to bring her delicious foods, or take her out for lunch or dinner. A meal delivery subscription is also nice, though again, check to make sure there’s nothing she finds revolting now.
- Get her a baby book and help her start it
Man, how I wish someone had helped me with this! In the grand tradition of my own mother, who tried to start mine, the ones for my daughters are sparse. However, I have all kinds of random memorabilia in a binder, so that’s got to count.
Anyway, get her a cool baby book and help her start with the section before the baby comes. She may not carry it out all the way in the future, but you’ll make it fun and less daunting for her to get started.
- Arrange a hangout
For pregnant friends in your area, make it a point to make plans with her. Even if she just wants to stay in, see about coming over and watching funny movies, having snacks, and mocktails. She’ll appreciate the effort and that you’re paying attention to her and not the baby bump.
- Be there for those cravings
So, your bestie is pregnant and wants fries dipped into milkshakes or peanut butter pickles? Indulge in those bizarre cravings with her. Who knows…she may stumble upon the next big foodie thing!
- Accompany her to the doctor’s
When you live near your pregnant friend, showing support by going to those countless appointments is a great thing to do. Perhaps her husband works a lot or is traveling and going with her, especially the further along she gets will be so appreciated. Waiting rooms are boring even with magazines and technology to occupy you. Having a friendly face along definitely helps.
- Plan her a girls’ night
Instead of those wild nights of drinking and dancing, things will be far tamer now. But that’s ok! If you have a lovely group of friends together, invite a few to celebrate your pregnant friend. Think of it as a bachelorette party but for a last fun time with girlfriends and good food before the baby comes, and she never gets to sleep. It should be all about her and have her favorite things.
- Send a gift for a pregnant friend
Food can be a tricky one, I admit. If you’re worried you’ll send the wrong thing, try some other kind of gift. Gift cards for stores she likes are always a good idea. Just make sure she gets something for herself and not for the baby. Or send a gift that is just for her. There’s plenty of time to get things for her to help with the baby.
Here’s the list of creative gifts for expecting parents.
- Take her somewhere fun
How about a movie or shopping at the mall? Make sure she wears comfy shoes and that you let her sit and often rest too.
- Go for the mani/pedi
Remember when you couldn’t see your toes because of your belly? Yeah, fun times. Anyway, your pregnant friend would probably love to get her nails done. That foot massage is always the best part!
- Help her set up her registry
Did you know what you really needed when you were first pregnant? Me neither! Help her with that registry by showing her what is really useful (like silicone bibs and teething toys) and what isn’t (the peepee teepee comes to mind). She’ll be thrilled to have someone help her find the most important things.
- Get her set up
As your pregnant friend gets closer to her due date, you can help her set up in many ways. Maybe her husband is away, and she needs to set up the nursery. She could likely use some freezer meals to heat and eat when she’s back from the hospital. You can also come to help her clean her house, so she’s not bending and overexerting herself. There are certain household works to avoid in pregnancy, the list is here.
Ultimately, when it comes to doing something for a pregnant friend, think of what was helpful for you or what you wished you’d thought about. Likely, it’s those little things like cleaning, cooking, or simply wanting company that talk to you like you’re still a person. Focus on those things, and you’re sure to make her feel special!
Leslie Berry lives with her husband and two young daughters in Los Altos, California where she loves helping other moms get comfortable with motherhood and embracing the insanity with facts peppered with laughs. She loves eating too much sushi, exercise, and jamming out on her Fender.